at the moment

He said "You make me smile" and told me I'm always a surprise. I was the first girl he ran into in the foreign place. He said I'm remarkable, and I talk in run-on sentances. I asked too many questions and it made him laugh. I don't know what I was to you but I guess I'll never know. I don't expect much but I didn't expect the absence of your words for so long. You're hard to reach and at first there was your voice, vivid and alive. Yet distant, still unreal. Then you disappear, you fade fast without goodbye. Honestly I'm tired of you constantly invading my mind, attacking me with words you've said before. Honestly I've only wanted to be friends, like I'd told you- I don't know where to go from here and I wish I didn't have to choose between walking away or holding on this way. I barely know you enough to say I know you. You were sweet and light spirited, childlike yet different. I wish these things could come across to you as a compliment some day, but the likeliness of such a thing is negative percent. See, I'm not a pessimist, but you've turned my hopes down. I won't allow myself to keep my eyes fixed on the ground; but the way I tried, the way I risked, the way I dove into the unkown- that day I sparked up a conversation.. the way I was then will be kept in the past till I'm through the confusion. For now, I'll talk to this wall, and keep myself from frustration. I only wonder what's going through your brilliant little mind, I only wish you'd be a bit more present in a world that connects to mine. If you remain a mystery, a broken bridge in history, then I only wish you the best for what's to come- and one day, that you remember me simply for the little things.